Favorite Christmas Vacation "one-liners"

[11top]

In the spirit of the holidays, and as a tribute to one of the greatest movies ever, what are some of the great lines from Christmas Vacation?

To get us stated, how about:

"Ol' Snot has a little Mississippi leg hound in him."

Trust me, I could list 50 more. Honestly, how did Randy Quaid not win an Oscar? :D:dude:

[phillybri]

Aunt Bethany (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0703362/): Is your house on fire, Clark?
Clark (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000331/): No, Aunt Bethany, those are the Christmas lights.

[RayRay]

Eddie: Yeah, I got the daughter in the clinic, getting cured off the Wild Turkey. And, the older boy, bless his soul, is preparing for his career.

Clark: College?

Eddie: Carnival.

Clark: You gotta be proud.




Honestly, how did Randy Quaid not win an Oscar? :D:dude:

That is a VERY good question!!!

Get ready, because I'm going to litter this thread with quotes every day until Christmas! :dude:

[QueenCityGuitars]

Clark to Eddie after he arrives: "Can I refill your eggnog for you? Get you something to eat? Drive you out to the middle of nowhere and leave you for dead?"

[JMintzer]

Eddie: "Sh!tter's Full!"

[baillif]

Clark: ....I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, d***less, hopeless, heartless, fat-a$$, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey s**t he is. Hallelujah. Holy s**t. Where's the Tylenol?

[11top]

Eddie: "Sh!tter's Full!"

I thought that would be the first one posted. :dude:

[goof1073]

Todd Chester: Hey Griswold. Where do you think you're gonna put a tree that big?
Clark: Bend over and I'll show you.
Todd Chester: You've got a lot of nerve talking to me like that Griswold.
Clark: [looking at his wife, Margo] I wasn't talking to you.





Mary: Can I help you with anything?
Clark: Oh, I was just smelling - smiling. I was just blouse - browsing.
Mary: For your wife? For your girlfriend?
Clark: Uh... huh? What happened? I, uh, heh heh. Well, I guess it just wouldn't... Oh hee hee, it wouldn't be the Christmas shopping season if the stores were any less hooter than they - HOTTER than they are. Whew. It is warm in here, isn't it?
Mary: You have your coat on.
Clark: Yes, oh do I? How'd that happen?
Mary: Because it's cold out?
Clark: Yes, Yes, it is a bit nipply out. I mean 'nippy out.' What am I saying, nipple? Ah, there is a nip in the air, though.





Clark: 'Tis the season to be merry.
Mary: That's my name.
Clark: No sh#t.

[11top]

"Ol' Snot has a little Mississippi leg hound in him."

"Once he gets started, just best let him finish."

I was going to only post one a day, but this is sorta the same quote (paraphrase).
By the way, I have LOL at every one of these so far. Keep up the good work, BaMmers!!!! :dude:

[11top]

And on the 17th day of Christmas, Vacation said to me..........

Clark (http://forums.birdsandmoons.com/name/nm0000331/): Hey, Kids, I heard on the news that an airline pilot spotted Santa's sleigh on it's way in from New York City.
Eddie (http://forums.birdsandmoons.com/name/nm0001642/): [after a pause] You serious, Clark?


Question: Is Eddie's last name "Griswald?"

[RayRay]

Question: Is Eddie's last name "Griswald?"



"Johnson" EDIT: I think that's right. I know he's on Ellen's side of the family....


Speaking of Eddie: "I don't know 'bout the cat, but I sure am enjoying it. Art you wanna load me up with a little more there? It is goooooooooooooood!"

[goof1073]

Ellen: What are you looking at?
Clark: Oh, the silent majesty of a winter's morn... the clean, cool chill of the holiday air... an a-hole in his bathrobe, emptying a chemical toilet into my sewer...




Ellen: Clark, Audrey's frozen from the waist down.
Clark: That's all part of the experience, honey.





Eddie: If that cat had nine lives it sure used 'em all.




Man I love this movie!!

[goof1073]

And Eddie had some really great lines!!!


Eddie: Every time Catherine revved up the microwave, I'd piss my pants and forget who I was for about half an hour or so.



Eddie: [walks in with a bound and gagged Mr. Shirley tied with a big red ribbon] Ho ho ho, Merry Christmas, Clark.
[to Mr. Shirlet]
Eddie: You about ready to do some kissing?




Eddie: Don't forget the rubber sheets and gerbils.




Art: [to Rocky] You got a kiss for me?
Eddie: Better take a rain check on that, Art - he's got a lip fungus they ain't identified yet!



Eddie: She falls down a well, her eyes go cross. She gets kicked by a mule. They go back. I don't know.

[bleujazz3]

*Sigh* :rolleyes:

[Dancing Frog]

http://i116.photobucket.com/albums/o13/theboarsrock/Egg%20you%20on/christmasvacation.gif
We're gonna press on, and we're gonna have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny f'cking Kaye. And when Santa squeezes his fat white a$$ down that chimney tonight, he's gonna find the jolliest bunch of a$$holes this side of the nuthouse.

[11top]

Eddie (http://forums.birdsandmoons.com/name/nm0001642/): You surprised to see us, Clark?
Clark (http://forums.birdsandmoons.com/name/nm0000331/): Oh, Eddie... If I woke up tomorrow with my head sewn to the carpet, I wouldn't be more surprised than I am now.

[RayRay]

"You can't see a line, can you Russ?"

[11top]

Eddie: And, the older boy, bless his soul, is preparing for his career.

Clark: College?

Eddie: Carnival.

Clark: You gotta be proud.

Eddie: (paraphrase) Yeah, he was spreading pixie dust on the tilt-a-whirl, but now he's barking for the yak woman. Ugly woman, but she's quite a cook.

How can ya not love Eddie?

[RayRay]

How can ya not love Eddie?

I know!!! On that note...

Eddie: Save the neck for me, Clark.

[11top]

Eddie:
"Clark, that there is an RV!"

[RayRay]

Eddie: "Clark, that's the gift that keeps on giving the whole year."

[11top]

Eddie: "Clark, that's the gift that keeps on giving the whole year."

I wondered how long it would take you? LOL! :D

I haven't got my Jelly of the Month Club yet this month. You? :p

[RayRay]

I wondered how long it would take you? LOL! :D

I haven't got my Jelly of the Month Club yet this month. You? :p

Ha! This thread cracks me up. Mine must be in the mail ;)

[guitarman608]

Eddie:
"Clark, that there is an RV!"

thats my fave, just because
my initials are "RV"

Rob

[RayRay]

Uncle Lewis: You couldn't hear a dumptruck driving through a nitroglycerin plant.

[11top]

Clark (http://forums.birdsandmoons.com/name/nm0000331/): Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, kiss my a$$. Kiss his a$$. Kiss your a$$. Happy Hanukkah.

[RayRay]

Eddie: I don't know if I oughta go sailin' down no hill with nothin' between the ground and my brains but a piece of government plastic.
Clark: Do you really think it matters, Eddie?

[RayRay]

Clark: Where's Eddie... he usually eats the g0d d@mned things.
Katherine: Not any more... not since he found out squirrels are high in cholesterol.

[11top]

"Bingo!"

[RayRay]

You ain't never seen a set on a dog like this one's got ;)

[11top]

Eddie: "Rub his belly and he'll love ya til the day you die."

[RayRay]

Clark: "So... when did you get the tenement on wheels?"

[11top]

Clark: What's wrong with Snot?
Eddie: He's just yakkin' on a chicken bone.

[11top]

Come on Ray, I need at least one more from you! We only have two more days, man! :dude:

[RayRay]

Ha! Good point. Not much time left. BTW, I dig the text color.

Eddie: I'd like to fumigate this here chair. It's a good quality item. If you don't mind me askin', how much did she set ya back?

[Electricldy]

Uncle Lewis: The blesssssiiiiiiinnnnnngggg.

Aunt Bethany: I pledge allegiance, to the flag.....

[11top]

Last line:

Clark: "I did it!"

Merry Christmas, Everyone!!!

[RayRay]

Last line:

Clark: "I did it!"

Merry Christmas, Everyone!!!

Great way to close out the thread. Merry Christmas!

[redmax61]

Uncle Lewis: The blesssssiiiiiiinnnnnngggg.

Aunt Bethany: I pledge allegiance, to the flag.....

"PLAY BALL!"

[11top]

Bump for the season! :dude:

[RayRay]

Bump for the season! :dude:

Can I take something out for you?

[Bill Niersbach]

Of the 1000 dvd's or so that I own, I cant believe this one isnt one of them. Downloading NOW to put on the Ipad and take it to work today!!

[11top]

Of the 1000 dvd's or so that I own, I cant believe this one isnt one of them. Downloading NOW to put on the Ipad and take it to work today!!

Your life is not yet complete.

[iahawk36]

"She's a beaut, Clark..."

[Bill Niersbach]

"Burn dust and Eat my RUBBER!!!"

[Bill Niersbach]

Todd Chester: Hey Griswold. Where do you think you're gonna put a tree that big?
Clark: Bend over and I'll show you.
Todd Chester: You've got a lot of nerve talking to me like that Griswold.
Clark: [looking at his wife, Margo] I wasn't talking to you.





Mary: Can I help you with anything?
Clark: Oh, I was just smelling - smiling. I was just blouse - browsing.
Mary: For your wife? For your girlfriend?
Clark: Uh... huh? What happened? I, uh, heh heh. Well, I guess it just wouldn't... Oh hee hee, it wouldn't be the Christmas shopping season if the stores were any less hooter than they - HOTTER than they are. Whew. It is warm in here, isn't it?
Mary: You have your coat on.
Clark: Yes, oh do I? How'd that happen?
Mary: Because it's cold out?
Clark: Yes, Yes, it is a bit nipply out. I mean 'nippy out.' What am I saying, nipple? Ah, there is a nip in the air, though.





Clark: 'Tis the season to be merry.
Mary: That's my name.
Clark: No sh#t.

Cant see the line, Can ya Russ??

[DGTCrazy]

In the spirit of the holidays, and as a tribute to one of the greatest movies ever, what are some of the great lines from Christmas Vacation?

To get us stated, how about:

"Ol' Snot has a little Mississippi leg hound in him."

Trust me, I could list 50 more. Honestly, how did Randy Quaid not win an Oscar? :D:dude:


You don't want him around if your wearing short pants, if you know what I mean. Word of warning though, if he does lay into ya, it's best to just let 'im finish

[11top]

Clark to Todd: "I wasn't talking to you."

[11top]

Clark: "Ed, what's wrong with your dog?"

Eddie: "He's just yakkin' on a bone."

Snot: "Aaaarrrroppp!"

Eddie: "It's OK. He got it up."

[RayRay]

Clark: "Ed, what's wrong with your dog?"

Eddie: "He's just yakkin' on a bone."

Snot: "Aaaarrrroppp!"

Eddie: "It's OK. He got it up."

Clark: Maybe if you wouldn't feed him from the table...

Eddie: No.... He's probably just nosing through the trash...

[11top]

"Mister, that is low. If I had a rubber hose I'd beat you........."

[dinocicerelli]

Sh!tter's full

[dinocicerelli]

Eddie: "Sh!tter's Full!"

Oops. I bought the movie and posted before re-reading.

[11top]

Question: Is Eddie's last name "Griswald?"


After watching this movie for the 413th time, I just discovered that Eddie is Clark's "cousin-in-law." So, is Eddie Ellen's cousin? Or is Eddie's wife Clark's cousin? :confused::confused::confused:

This is important stuff to know, ya know. :rolleyes:

[RayRay]

After watching this movie for the 413th time, I just discovered that Eddie is Clark's "cousin-in-law." So, is Eddie Ellen's cousin? Or is Eddie's wife Clark's cousin? :confused::confused::confused:

This is important stuff to know, ya know. :rolleyes:

Eddie is Ellen's cousin.

She's a sweet gal... And a hell of a good cook.

[11top]

Eddie is Ellen's cousin.

She's a sweet gal... And a hell of a good cook.

What?!! Ellen's the Yak woman? :eek:

[gag halfrunt]

Audrey: I hope nobody I know drives by and sees me standing in the yard staring at the house in my pajamas.

Art: If they know your dad, they won't think anything of it.

[Atomic]

Its a beaut clog! Its a beaut!

[11top]

It's about time to pull this DVD off of my shelf. Right Eddie? ^

[RayRay]

It's about time to pull this DVD off of my shelf. Right Eddie? ^

Hallelujah ... Holy sh!t.

Where's the Tylenol...

[Electricldy]

From the uncut version:

Ellen's mom: I have hemorrhoids.

Ellen: Oh, mother.



Aunt Bethany's wrapped up the cat again.

[Brian G]

In the egg nog with the moose cup scene, Eddie is talking so close to Clarks face while wearing that hilarious turtle neck. Gets me every time

[Slyib]

Audrey: Do you sleep with your brother? Do you know how sick and twisted that is?


Ellen: Well, I'm sleeping with your father. Don't be so dramatic.

---

Margo: You just march over there and slug that creep in the face.

Todd: I can't just attack someone.

Margo: Alright then, if you're not man enough to put an end to this sh!t, then I am.

.
.

[spikedog007]

Clark: What's wrong with Snot?
Eddie: He's just yakkin' on a chicken bone.



Dog barfs, table shakes...

Eddie: There he's got it.

(I say this line everytime my dog burps or coughs)

[spikedog007]

(My wife says this to me after putting up the lights each year)

wife: Those lights aren't twinkling
Me: Thanks for noticing.


Clark: Russ, go get the hammer.
????: Clark, what do you need a hammer for?
Clark: I'm gonna catch it in the coat... And smack it with the hammer.

SQQQUIRRELLLLLLL!!!!

[Martysnarf]

Eddie: "Rub his belly and he'll love ya til the day you die."

Clark: "I really shouldn't Eddie, my hands are all chapped."

Watching this movie every Christmas Season has been a ritual of mine for I can't remember how long. I absolutely LOVE it; never gets old. I even have a pair of white shoes like Eddie's; every time I wear them and people give me crap, I tell them, "Well Clark, I remembered ya remarked how much ya liked mine." Everyone instantly knows what I am talking about LOL!

[Martysnarf]

Eddie: "Every time Catherine revved up the microwave, I'd piss my pants and forget who I was for a half hour or so." ROLF!!

************************************************** ********************************************

Ellen: "I don't know what to say, except that it's Christmas and we're all in misery."

************************************************** ********************************************

Clark: "Fixed the newel post!!"

[11top]

^ "I dunno."

[11top]

Anybody getting the gift that keeps on giving?

[11top]

This is too good not to post in two threads. Gift from my daughter:

http://i31.photobucket.com/albums/c395/11top/CHRISTMAS20113JPG.jpg

MERRY CHRISTMAS ALL!!!