PSA: impossible Private Stock deal on eBay (scam thread Ian at work.) [Archive]

ianj5150

07-02-2009, 11:38 AM

It seems that the story isn't quite over yet. I got a message from eBay telling me that the auction had been deleted. But I had also sent the seller a message telling him that I was happy to conduct a deal off eBay and supplying him with an email address. It worked! I am called Simon Simpell. Simon has received an email from 'Greg Johns':

Hi,

I can sell you the guitar for $1800.

Let me know.

Respectfully

My bid had put the price up to $2000, so I'm getting a real bargain here :rolleyes:

It's funny, I was telling Cheebatone on the phone a few hours ago how much I was hoping for the chance to do another 'sport bait'.... :D

BeatnikTom

07-02-2009, 11:45 AM

It's funny, I was telling Cheebatone on the phone a few hours ago how much I was hoping for the chance to do another 'sport bait'.... :D

And I've been looking forward to seeing another 'sport bait.' :D

Good catch EllasDad! ;)

Markie

07-02-2009, 11:54 AM

I am sooooo excited :dude:

ianj5150

07-02-2009, 11:55 AM

Simon sends:

Dear Greg,

That is an extremely generous offer for such a very nice guitar, how can I possibly say 'no'? As you may have gathered, I am in United Kingdom and I guess that you're Stateside. So collection with cash could be a bit of a problem! I hope you have no issues with shipping internationally from the US? I prefer that the shipment expedited quickly and I think that full insurance would be a good idea, just in case it gets shipped over on an Airbus. If you want to work out how much the shipping will be, then I'll happily pay that as well. Please let me know what the total is and I will set about making the payment ASAP.

I am so looking forward to conducting this steal. I bought a PRS Signature on eBay a little while back, a beautiful one in Wales Blue. This one will complement it perfectly, you will be another exhibit in my PRS Trophy Room.

Yours in goodness,

Simon

Markie

07-02-2009, 11:59 AM

Simon sends:

You will be another exhibit in my PRS Trophy Room.

He He He Ha Ha Ha :D

Tim

07-02-2009, 01:07 PM

Simon sends:

I think that full insurance would be a good idea, just in case it gets shipped over on an Airbus.

I wonder if the guy noted that joke!

ianj5150

07-02-2009, 01:28 PM

He replies:

Hi,

There is no problem with the shipping, it will be about $100 with insurance. If you are ready for the purchase i just need your full name and full shipping address so i can start the deal with eBay.
If you have any other questions just let me know.
Respectfully

So, we have another of these 'fake emails from eBay and make payment through Moneygram or Western Onion' scams. Here we go again...

gag halfrunt

07-02-2009, 02:27 PM

Ahh, I never get tired of these, Ian.

Do it!

ianj5150

07-02-2009, 02:59 PM

Simon replies (with Ms Carmen Gethitt on cc):

Hello Greg,

that is excellent news! I can't wait to become the proud owner of my second Signature scalp from eBay. I noticed that you took the eBay auction down immediately, which has made me very happy that I am dealing with a genuine person and a trustworthy seller. So I guess that the total amount to be paid is $1900? If so, I think you and I both know that that is a very good price indeed. What is your reason for selling the guitar? I do hope you're not only doing it because you're short of money? This Credit Crunch affair is really sh!t for some, but at least it gives vulturine individuals like me a chance to accumulate more wood to polish.

So, my shipping address is:

69 Mountebank Close*,
Aston Peebles,
Nottingham NG7 5GP

I'm actually going to be away for a few days, but I have told my girlfriend Carmen about the deal and she will deal with it if I'm off line. I don't want there to be any delays. Just be warned that she can get a little wordy with her emails, and she is from Lithuania so her English isn't the best.

(Carmen - please keep this email, dearest sweetie? Mwah Mwah. I'll tell you what I want you to do with it when you get back from Spearmint Rhino. Miss you, tootles! love, Piggles).

Okay, Greg, that's about it. I'll leave the money for Carmen to deal with what needs to be done. Please send the eBay instructions and we'll get this done. Make sure to copy Carmen.

Yours sincerely,

Simon.

* Mountebank Close (mountebank is a lovely and appropriate English word) and Aston Peebles are fictional. The rest of the address pertains to Nottingham Police Station.

ianj5150

07-02-2009, 03:06 PM

Our pilgrim is keen! Two replies within minutes:

Hi,

I will start the deal with eBay, it will take a 1 hour or so for you to receive the invoice. Send me an email when you get it.

Thank you

and:

Oh, i forgot, the reason for selling the guitar is the money, i am in need of money ASAP so i hope you have the money ready!

Thank you

Oh, bless! The poor, impoverished bottom-feeding scamming scum. And as usual, he's not reading a damned thing; he hasn't copied Carmen as I asked. I do wish that I could find a scammer who was just a little bit of a challenge :rolleyes:

ianj5150

07-02-2009, 03:18 PM

Simon sends:

hello Greg,

oh I did have such a feeling that you are selling the guitar because your credit has been crunched! I'm so sorry about that, but stuff happens in this world and at least I'm glad to be able to help out.

I'm going offline now, going away on business a couple of days. Please make sure that you copy my girlfriend, Carmen, on all future e-mails. I have her on CC and she will be dealing with this while I am away because I only have intermittent access to e-mail from early tomorrow morning.

I copied her on this mail, but her e-mail address is cgethitt@ymail.com.

As I said, I will explain it all to her when she gets back later.

(Carmen, pookie-snooks, did you get my texts? Love you! Piggles).

Greg: make sure that you have eBay put Carmen on CC.

Great to be doing business with you, man! This is going to be a Good Deal (TM). I so *love* dealing with the desperate!

Yours sincerely,

Simon

ianj5150

07-02-2009, 03:22 PM

He immediately responds:

You can wait a few minutes more to get the invoice.

Thanks

Boy, this one is keen!

We are using the same email service and he is online and available for chat. I think I'll say hello...

EDIT: damn it, he went offline. He'll be preparing the fake invoice from eBay. So, will it be Moneygram or Western Onion this time? Place yer bets... :D

ianj5150

07-02-2009, 04:32 PM

Greg sends:

Hi,

Invoice has been sent, let me know if you got it.

Thank you

ianj5150

07-02-2009, 04:39 PM

I reply:

Nothing yet...

It is, of course, in my junk email. It's from ebay@transaction.com. It. the usual graphics-based eBay-U-Like thing.

In the meantime, he's online for a chat. He's using the same email service as me and Carmen, which was just pure chance. I'll talk to him. I haven't done this before, so wish me luck....

ianj5150

07-02-2009, 05:09 PM

Okay, for the first time, a scam bait in real time:

I send:

Hello Greg 0:08
I found the invoice from eBay, the stupid junk filter had caught it. 0:09
Greg are you there?

Reply:

Hi Simon 0:21
sorry i was away from computer 0:21
are you still there?

I reply:

yes I am. Just sent you an email

The email was:

Greg,

I tried to chat you with the yahoo online chat but you seem to be assleep or something.

Carmen has the invoice, and she'll deal with it. Expect an email from her tomorrow. She's with me now, back from a hard night on the pole :)~

If I have the chance, I'll keep track of the transaction from my Blackberry.

Sincerely yours,

Simon.[/I]

He replies:

Are you still there?

I respond:

yes I am. Just sent you an email 0:24
I have to go soon, Greg. Carmen and I ordered a 'delivery' from our dealer and it's just arrived, if you know what I mean? ;)

Ten minutes pass... he has other scams to attend to, I think. I send:

Ok, we must go now. Have some business to attend to, dude. God, I love Bolivia! 0:35
Yours sincerely 0:36
Simon (Simples to my friends)

ianj5150

07-02-2009, 05:12 PM

He has emailed me:

Hi,

Sorry, i was away from computer. I hope you can make the payment tomorrow so i can ship tomorrow.

Thank you and Good Night, i think is night over there.

Respectfully

I think this loser has a whole voyage of discovery into the badlands of pain ahead of him...

:D

gag halfrunt

07-02-2009, 07:08 PM

Beautiful, man. Keep it up!

ianj5150

07-02-2009, 10:03 PM

A couple of hours ago, he sends:

NOTE: If the MoneyGram agent is asking the reason of the transfer, please don't tell it's for a sale, otherwise the fees will be different, and I will also be charged in US for internet commerce, and I want to avoid all these, so let them know you are sending to a friend. I will also mark the package as gift to avoid any custom fees. Thanks for understanding

Oh, I'm 'understanding' what he means. Moneygram agents are well trained to spot this kind of transaction. 'Sending to friend', eh? Yeah, we'll see about that...

ianj5150

07-02-2009, 10:52 PM

The fake eBay invoice that he has sent is so clumsily done that it doesn't even warrant the time and effort required to post it; you've probably seen many of them on these threads before anyway... The address that he's given is in Lafayette, IN. I won't post it because it scores a hit on a 'where are you now?' site for 2nd Battalion, 5th Marines.

The gentleman who gives this address served in that Battalion in the mid-1960s. So if this scam had actually been successful, there is a chance that a vet would have had a visit from the Feds if the victim had complained to the authorities.

Oh, I just love these scammers so much... :mad:

cmatthes

07-02-2009, 11:16 PM

Gawd, I love these threads!

:D :D :D

Markie

07-03-2009, 06:38 AM

Ian.......I am couple of hours away from Lafayette.

ianj5150

07-03-2009, 07:01 AM

Ian.......I am couple of hours away from Lafayette.

He's not there, Markie. He's probably not even in the US. These guys just pick random residential addresses to make their fake invoices look a little more realistic. Likely as not an Eastern European chancing his arm on US eBay. But thanks for the thought :dude:

ianj5150

07-03-2009, 07:07 AM

So, the situation at the moment is that Simon is over the Atlantic on a business trip and has left his Lithuanian pole dancer girlfriend Carmen Gethitt to make the payment. But the 'seller', Greg, neglected to send her a copy of the fake invoice with the MoneyGram instructions on it.

Carmen's English is not too good, btw. Time to make our pilgrim work for his cash :rolleyes: Carmen sends:

Mr Gregg,

I am Carmen and Simon asked me to pay for guitar that he buy from you, no? I see e-mails from last night and Simon explain what for me to do but he not explain good enough. I am from Lithuania and so know a little about MoneyGrab, but I have no instructions. Simon flying to America on business so can't ask him. I have big pile of monies here and no know what to do it with!

Simon is funny guy, he buy lot of expansive guitars and other expensive things (usually for me!) so I am used to spending his money! I really enjoy it, is like a second jobb that pays better than first jobb! So will be plesure for me to pay this monies for you.

I go to work now, I due to hit the big metal pole at 3:30. Hope you have instruction for me when home I get.

Carmen

gag halfrunt

07-03-2009, 07:36 AM

Nicely done, Ian.

Btw, Carmen sounds hot :)

ianj5150

07-03-2009, 07:38 AM

It seems that he can't be bothered sending out a second invoice. He sends to Carmen:

Hi,

You have to go to www.moneygram.com and find an agent, there are hundreds of MoneyGram in any city. You only need my full name and address to send the money:

Greg Johns
3906 Ginkgo Ct.
Lafayette, IN 47905
UNITED STATES
They will do the transfer in a few minutes, after it is done you have to give me the transfer number and the sender name and address of the money. I hope you understand well.

I will wait your email today with payment details.

Thank you

NOTE: If MoneyGram agent is asking the reason of the transfer, please don't tell it's for a sale, otherwise the fees will be different, and I will also be charged in US for internet commerce, and I want to avoid all these, so let them know you are sending to a friend. I will also mark the package as gift to avoid any custom fees. Thanks for understanding

ianj5150

07-03-2009, 08:49 AM

Meanwhile, Simon has arrived in the USA, and sends this to Greg, with Carmen on cc:

Greg,

I've arrived in New York. Now have the delight of endless back-to-back meetings, so I'll have little email access. I guess Carmen has been in touch and everything is in hand?

(Carmy - Piggles will call you later if you're free. Be a good girl.)

Simon

Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device

ianj5150

07-04-2009, 01:43 PM

I've left him to simmer for a little while. A few hours ago he sent to Simon:

Hi Simon,

I did not get the payment until now. I hope everything is ok because i am in need of money.

Let me know.

Thank you

And to Carmen:

Hi,

Did you had any luck to make the MoneyGram transfer?

Let me know.

Thank you

Greg

ianj5150

07-04-2009, 02:21 PM

Greg is online. Carmen has initiated a conversation via chat:

Carmen: Hi Greg, is Carmen. Are you there?

Greg: Hi. Yes i am

Carmen: I need to talk to you quickly about something that is very important. Something that I think would be very good for both of us. Are you interested?

Greg: ok tell me

Carmen: Simon think I am his girlfriend and love him. I not. I use him for money. He is very very rich, but also very stupid. Aweful sex is small price to pay for the money I have made from him, being used like the outside of a sausage roll all night. Gifts and cash, but is all lose pennies to him. He not even notice.

Greg: ok

Carmen: I have to tell you quickly, I have to work in soon moment. I send you money on Monday, is good so no worry about that. But that is not important. I know that you not have guitar, that you are stealing the fool's money. Don't worry, I help you, I hate the slobbering pig! Best luck to you! But I need help to take much more money from him...

Greg: what? from where do you know that i not have the guitar? are you crazy?

Carmen: Greg, I am from Lithuania. I know a 'scam' when I see one. I have friends from Romania who do this for a job. I have helped them process the money that they make! I scammer too! My friends use 'Craigslist' site and sell motorbike and stuff.

Greg: i m not scamming anyone

After a few moments, Greg went off line. Carmen emails him:

You go 'offline' as I type. So I email you.

If you have guitar and will send it, fine. I could care less. In fact, I want you to take Simon's filthy money. In fact, if you do have guitar, I don't want you to send it. He is fat, foul bastard and beats me when he has had too much Charly and Stella (which he calls 'wife-beater). Sex with him is horrible, but at least it is quick!

You get money fine, I send. But I want to take much more money from him. I have a plan and need help. I split money with you. We could get hundreds of £1000s from the basterd. If you are interested and want to be rich with no risk, I explain. If you not help me, eventually I find someone with balls who will. If not, I just MoneyGram this money to you Monday and we done.

Think about it. I think you perfect for this work.

Carmen.

dinocicerelli

07-04-2009, 03:01 PM

awesome.

Jiboom

07-04-2009, 03:12 PM

Hehe, nice twist :D

ianj5150

07-04-2009, 03:55 PM

From New York, Simon sends:

Hi Greg,
Again, sorry to hear that you are short of money, I hope that you everything is sorted. I haven't heard anything from Carmen, which is disappointing, frankly. I hope that she's okay. Do you have the payment. Have you heard from her?

Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device

ianj5150

07-04-2009, 05:20 PM

Greg replies to Simon:

I do not have any payment until now.

Thanks

:D

gag halfrunt

07-04-2009, 05:48 PM

He is starting to sound like a broken record!

Gilky

07-04-2009, 09:18 PM

I LOLd at Carmen's last message. Now this is getting good :dude:

Daniel

07-05-2009, 12:00 AM

Carmen should tell him she sent the cash next day air to the address in Indiana. :)

gag halfrunt

07-05-2009, 01:42 AM

Carmen should tell him she sent the cash next day air to the address in Indiana. :)

That would be funny!

Fuel

07-05-2009, 02:08 AM

ingenious!!! :D

you should post the whole story out of the swap meet

ianj5150

07-05-2009, 04:35 AM

I've emailed BM and asked him to relocate the thread.

ianj5150

07-05-2009, 05:58 AM

Carmen should tell him she sent the cash next day air to the address in Indiana. :)

Daniel, you read my mind! That's pretty much why I sent Simon to New York on business, because he could post the cash from there when Carmen starts being a pain in the ass over it :D

Guys, how would you post cash in the CONUS? In the UK we're use 'Recorded Delivery', but I don't know what the equivalent is Stateside.

James

07-05-2009, 06:24 AM

Daniel, you read my mind! That's pretty much why I sent Simon to New York on business, because he could post the cash from there when Carmen starts being a pain in the ass over it :D

Guys, how would you post cash in the CONUS? In the UK we're use 'Recorded Delivery', but I don't know what the equivalent is Stateside.

You would put the cash in a USPS Priority Mail or a FedEx envelope and off it goes. Perhaps send an empty fed ex envelope to that address and give him a live tracking number. You could then have some drama as he trys to have you divert it. I would be happy to pay for it if someone in NYC or Florida would post the envelope.

Fed Ex Ground would be great because it would take days to get there.

ianj5150

07-05-2009, 06:35 AM

You would put the cash in a USPS Priority Mail or a FedEx envelope and off it goes. Perhaps send an empty fed ex envelope to that address and give him a live tracking number. You could then have some drama as he trys to have you divert it. I would be happy to pay for it if someone in NYC or Florida would post the envelope.

Fed Ex Ground would be great because it would take days to get there.
What a wonderful idea, James! Is there anyone on the East Coast who would be good enough to send an empty envelope that has a live tracking number to 'Greg Johns' at that address?
:D

Julian Carter

07-05-2009, 06:45 AM

What a wonderful idea, James! Is there anyone on the East Coast who would be good enough to send an empty envelope that has a live tracking number to 'Greg Johns' at that address?
:D

Ian, you are most evil... obviously the back is no better these days.

Arnie sends his love.

Gilky

07-05-2009, 07:11 AM

What a wonderful idea, James! Is there anyone on the East Coast who would be good enough to send an empty envelope that has a live tracking number to 'Greg Johns' at that address?
:D

I'll be shipping something out tomorrow, I'd be happy to do it, it would be coming from North Carolina if that works. PM me the details if you want.

ianj5150

07-05-2009, 07:16 AM

I'll be shipping something out tomorrow, I'd be happy to do it, it would be coming from North Carolina if that works. PM me the details if you want.

Beautiful! Thanks Gilky, PM on its way :D

ianj5150

07-05-2009, 07:42 AM

I shall start setting the scene. Simon sends:

Greg, have you heard anything from Carmen? She's not replying to email and her phone isn't switched on. Have you got your money yet?

Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device

Big Mike

07-05-2009, 10:07 AM

Moved, retitled, go get him!

ianj5150

07-05-2009, 11:41 AM

Greg sends to Simon:

Hi,

I do not have any money from her. Are you interested in the guitar or not? I do not understand you.

Thanks

ianj5150

07-05-2009, 12:08 PM

Carmen forwards a mail that she has received from Simon to Greg:

Greg,

I have been ignoring Simon for a while and he has sent me this email, which I forward you. Can you see what he says about you, calling you 'dope'. He knows as well as you and me that the PRS guitar is much more valuable than the sale price you ask. The difference is that he is 'mug' and doesn't have a clue that you don't actually have guitar.

C'mon, Greg. You see how much he disrespects you. He's like that with me. He tells me that he's my 'Piggles' and then treats me like a decorative willy-warmer that he can abuse at will. Just admit to me what you are doing and help me to clean this inglorious basterd out. We can make almost a million out of him without any risk, especially not you. But need your help, without a second person that can trust to be dishonest with him, I cannot do this. Please help me, I promise you not regret.

Love Carmen

----- Forwarded Message ----
From: Simon Daniels <sim_dan76@yahoo.co.uk>
To: cgethitt@ymail.com
Sent: Sunday, 5 July, 2009 17:21:27
Subject: Where the F are you????

Carmen, I have had no contact with you now for over 24hrs. I'm really worried about losing this PRS because this Greg guy isn't going to wait about for ever. It's a damned steal, the dope is selling a guitar that's worth 4 times what he's asking and all you have to do is send him the cash! Can you get it done asap please?

Piggles.

Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device

ianj5150

07-05-2009, 12:46 PM

He replies to Carmen:

Hi,

I cannot help you, i am just selling my guitar and i am in need of money do you want it or not?

Let me know

This is really interesting that he is sticking to his guns and not admitting what he is doing. It was worth a try, though.

George Johnson

07-05-2009, 12:52 PM

Just when I thought these couldn't get any better, you've taken it to a new level with the Carmen angle.

Priceless.

.

ianj5150

07-05-2009, 01:55 PM

Thanks, George :) I think it's about time we got to see what Carmen looks like...

Simon sends to Greg:

Hi Greg, I found an internet cafe on 49th St, I had to email you properly. Honestly, I am so sorry about this shambles over trying to buy your guitar. Obviously, trusting even a simple task to a lithe Lithuanian lapdancer was not a very clever idea on my part. If you want something doing, you have to do it yourself! Carmen has probably spent the money that I left her on handbags and gladrags, the useless little tart.

I am absolutely desperate for your guitar, please be completely assured of that. I know that this has been a mess, but (not wishing to be too politically incorrect) these Eastern European chicks are damned easy on the eye and f*** like bunnies, but about as reliable as a $5 Rolex. I'm headed from NYC to North Carolina tomorrow. I have a gap in my schedule, I'm going to send you the damned money myself. I'll email you as soon as it's done. I hope you're happy with that.

Again, apologies about Carmen. If you wonder why I put up with the daft little bint, I've attached a picture. They you might understand why I'm like a dog with two dicks over her!

Yours,

Simon.

http://i44.photobucket.com/albums/f47/ianjackson5150/Dodgy/1816490764_7abb94f57b.jpg

ianj5150

07-05-2009, 01:57 PM

Gilky has very kindly offered to post a 'package' to Greg at the address that he's given. Then we can have some real fun with Greg using the tracking number :D

ianj5150

07-05-2009, 02:16 PM

The dumb shmuck has fallen for it!

He sends to Simon:

Hi,

Ok i will wait for you to complete the payment tomorrow.

Thanks

Simon replies:

Thanks Greg.

So just between two guys, I have to ask: Carmen, is she worth the trouble or what? What do you think?

Simon.

ianj5150

07-05-2009, 02:45 PM

Greg replies:

I don't know.

I am just selling my guitar, it is your problems..

Thanks

So a career as an agony aunt isn't for Greg, then :rolleyes:

Gilky

07-05-2009, 03:13 PM

:p Shall I put anything in the envelope? Perhaps a note saying "Nuts."

ianj5150

07-05-2009, 03:17 PM

:p Shall I put anything in the envelope? Perhaps a note saying "Nuts."

No need, G. He's not there, it's just a random address that he's picked. All I need is the tracking number. If it takes a few days to get there, all the better :D

ianj5150

07-05-2009, 03:33 PM

Carmen sends to Greg:

Hi Greg,

I am sad that you will not help me in this. Is shame, we could have made lot of money easy. You have no guitar to sell and you and I know that. I don't understand why you cannot admit this to me or perhaps even to yourself. Is sad.

Anyway, I finally take call from goddam 'Piggles' and he say that he send money to you tomorrow himself. So good for you, you steal his money, I very pleased for you. I just wish that you and I could have stolen more from the useless slobbering pig. My very best wishes too you, Greg. Take him for as much as you can. I just ask one thing: do not tell him that I am doing the same thing to him as you are! The English have saying: "honor among thieves". I not really sure what it means, but sounds right for us I think.

This man is idiott. Total idiott. He take me to America once with his co-workers at bank. He ignore me and spend lot of money on dancers in club and did three thick lines from glass table and drank 2 bottles of vintage fizzy white wine. Then he go back to hotel and put on some of clothes that he like to dress in when he make sexytime with me. Then he go out in street. He pole dance on street in daylight. I was so could not believe what I seeing. I send you picture so that you see what worthless fool you take money from.

Best luck to you, my friend! If you change mind, email me.

Kisses,

Carmen.

http://i44.photobucket.com/albums/f47/ianjackson5150/Dodgy/403391806_ef2487772d.jpg

Gilky

07-05-2009, 03:36 PM

I just shot lemonade out my nose. :dude:

bird droppings

07-05-2009, 09:15 PM

Interestingly, Simon is pole dancing on Bourbon Street in New Orleans.

How'd he pull that off?

Julian Carter

07-06-2009, 03:29 AM

Interestingly, Simon is pole dancing on Bourbon Street in New Orleans.

How'd he pull that off?

He's a clever bloke, that Simon. Nice legs too!

ianj5150

07-06-2009, 06:57 AM

It's almost 9:30am EST. Time for Simons first email of the day to Greg:

Hi Greg,

Well, yes I suppose it is my problem. Still, whoever said that relationships were easy? I guess you're single, right? You sound too happy not to be. Women, eh? Can't live with 'em, can't shoot 'em.

Anyway, let's stick to talking about the guitar. You are correct, we have to focus here! I'm mailing you to let you know that I have the cash right here, $1900 as we agreed. I have some meetings and stuff today but it will be sent to you a little later. I have a couple hours spare at the end of the afternoon, so we're all ready to go. I bet you can smell that green stuff already, eh? There's not much that's better than the smell and feel of large denomination dollar bills is there? Mmmmm....

Okay, I'll email you later with the details of how to get your money. You've waited very patiently for this day and I'm very grateful to you for hanging on in there. A lesser man would probably have just given up by now, but not you, oh no. I admire tencity like that. I wish I could see your face when you finally get what's coming your way!

Yours,

Simon

Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device

gag halfrunt

07-06-2009, 09:39 AM

I wish I could see his face, too :D

guitarman608

07-06-2009, 12:41 PM

WOW this is gonna be good!!!
one of the best ones i've read yet!!

ianj5150

07-06-2009, 01:28 PM

He replies:

Hi,

I will wait for your email that payment is made.

Thanks

Okay Mr Gilky, we need your tracking number :cool:

Gilky

07-06-2009, 01:38 PM

I (Mr. Simon Simpell) have sent a packaga via FedEx to our dear friend Mr. Greg Johns of LaFayette, Indiana.

Tracking # 6674 0041 0039 581

:cool:

ianj5150

07-06-2009, 01:41 PM

I (Mr. Simon Simpell) have sent a packaga via FedEx to our dear friend Mr. Greg Johns of LaFayette, Indiana.

Tracking # 6674 0041 0039 581

:cool:

I am so gonna buy you enough beer to float a yacht for this, man!!! :dude:

I shall compose my email to our dear friend Greg now... :D

Gilky

07-06-2009, 01:43 PM

Carmen's phone number will suffice :p

ianj5150

07-06-2009, 01:57 PM

Carmen's phone number will suffice :p

ROFL!!! :D

ianj5150

07-06-2009, 02:29 PM

Simon sends:

Well, the payment is done!!! Its on it's way to you at long last. I hope you're happy, I certainly am!

There was one very small change of plan, though. I researched MoneyGram and it seemed like a bit of a low-rent service to be brutally frank, but when I found the place, well... oh dear. It looked like a cross between a pawnshop and a crackhouse. And I'm standing there in a bespoke Savile Row suit, Calzolaria Harris shoes, with a Zenith timepiece on my wrist and my pockets stuffed with high denomination dollars! I'm amazed that is got out alive!

So I did this: I went to the local Fedex, put the cash in an envelope and mailed it to your home address in Lafayette. It has a tracking number and everything! I'm not sure how long it will take to get there, a day or two, but you can watch its progress by going to www.fedex.com. The tracking number is 6674 0041 0039 581.

I'm sure this will be okay with you.

Yours,

Simon

Gilky

07-06-2009, 02:42 PM

By the way, it won't show up until tomorrow, I used a local shipper (PostNet) and FedEx won't physically receive it until this evening or tomorrow.

ianj5150

07-06-2009, 02:50 PM

By the way, it won't show up until tomorrow, I used a local shipper (PostNet) and FedEx won't physically receive it until this evening or tomorrow.

That's cool. There's no way that he's at that address anyway, I doubt that he will even look up the tracking number.

Twinfan

07-06-2009, 02:57 PM

Great work guys - awesome!

He may just go dark now he realises he hasn't got the cash.......

ianj5150

07-06-2009, 03:13 PM

Great work guys - awesome!

He may just go dark now he realises he hasn't got the cash.......

I hope not. We want some 'customer feedback' :p

Gilky

07-06-2009, 03:32 PM

Now if only there was a BAMmer named Greg Johns from Indiana :rolleyes:

gag halfrunt

07-06-2009, 07:11 PM

Great work guys - awesome!

He may just go dark now he realises he hasn't got the cash.......

Absolutely great, Ian! This is great reading.

I do hope he doesn't ditch after reading your last message. His response would be fun.

ianj5150

07-07-2009, 02:19 PM

But we're not finished yet! I just checked Simon's email: very late last night Greg sent:

Why you not use Moneygram as agreed???? I am not at house, I will not get payment!! I cannot send guitar!!! Please answer quickly!!!!

Ten minutes later:

If you want your money back you must recall payment! Otherwise you lose it for no reason. I do not understand why you not follow instructions I send? Stop delivery by Fedex and use Moneygram as agreed or you get no guitar and lose all your money!!!

Thanks

ianj5150

07-07-2009, 02:29 PM

Simon sends:

Greg,

I'm sorry, now I don't understand you? I explained to you why I didn't use that MoneyGrab shithole. No guitar is worth risking getting murdered or contracting a nasty disease for, is it? You'll get the cash IN YOUR HAND tomorrow, delivered by ****ing Fedex? Where's your problem? How hard can it be? And if you try to **** me over, don't think that you'll get away with it because I have your address you idiot.

Now chill out and email me when your cash arrives.

Yours sincerely,

Simon

Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device

Paralax View

07-07-2009, 02:37 PM

I don't know from Scams, but the use of the word "Vulturine" used in juxtaposition with the scammer at hand is a stroke of brilliance, well played!!!:)

ianj5150

07-07-2009, 02:41 PM

I don't know from Scams, but the use of the word "Vulturine" used in juxtaposition with the scammer at hand is a stroke of brilliance, well played!!!:)

I'm really pleased that that one was spotted. I was slightly proud of that :D

baillif

07-07-2009, 02:48 PM

I like how his english degrades as his temper flares! hahah

shallbe

07-07-2009, 02:56 PM

This is fantastic. :D

gag halfrunt

07-07-2009, 02:56 PM

I'm surprised he still talking. Except for the fact that he's not in the U.S, and probably really thinks you can 'stop a fedex delivery'.

It's getting good, Ian. :dude:

ianj5150

07-07-2009, 02:59 PM

He's just come online :eek:

Interview With The Scammer Pt III

Watch this space...

ianj5150

07-07-2009, 03:19 PM

Here's what was said:

Simon: Greg is that you? Are you there?

Simon: I’m waiting, I need to talk to you?

Greg: Hi, have you recalled payment and make payment using Moneygram service as agreed?

Simon: Well, no. Not really. I can’t. It will be delivered to your home tomorrow. What is the problem with that?

Greg: I am not living there. I rent house and have problems with people I rent it to. I am sure that they will simply take your money. Nothing I can do I am out of country on business.

Simon: Well thanks! You could have told me! So what now? How do I get this guitar now?

And then he went offline.

Markie

07-07-2009, 03:22 PM

Has anyone else realized why their wives watch Soap Opera's?

Here I am, Glued to the TV....err Computer. Waiting to see what happens next.

:o :o :o :D

gag halfrunt

07-07-2009, 06:13 PM

Has anyone else realized why their wives watch Soap Opera's?

Here I am, Glued to the TV....err Computer. Waiting to see what happens next.

:o :o :D

BUSTED!

Yes, you are right. Just don't tell my wife :)

James

07-07-2009, 06:37 PM

I think you can recall fedex packages, but I could be wrong.

What do you think he would do if you told him you could have it redirected and that you just need the address of someone he trusts?

By the way, I showed my wife this thread the other day and she thinks it is hilarious.

Markie

07-07-2009, 06:48 PM

By the way, I showed my wife this thread the other day and she thinks it is hilarious.

That's some funny sh*t.

A few months back I got my wife interested in one of Ians Scam threads. I would keep her updated on what was going on.

Last night I told her of this new thread. I was giving her an update this evening & her reply was: I know, I got on BAM & read the thread.

Too Friggin funny!

Ian, remind me to bow to you at the upcoming Experience :dude:

Paralax View

07-07-2009, 07:11 PM

It would be a hoot if the guy was just clueless to guitars, actually had the thing and has been waiting around for the money...Actually I would like to know more about the fictitious pole dancer........ I'm pitiful.

Daniel

07-07-2009, 07:45 PM

You could always tell him that you sent it restricted delivery and Fedex refused delivery becasue he wasn't there to sign for it in person. Then demand a street address you can send it to since you don't trust Moneygram. That could drag it out for another week. :)

gag halfrunt

07-07-2009, 08:27 PM

RebelCapt

07-08-2009, 07:28 AM

Ian
I want to shake your hand in september!!

ianj5150

07-08-2009, 07:51 AM

Ian
I want to shake your hand in september!!

I'm looking forward so much to Exp this year, especially meeting everyone who has been involved in this years' scam baits :D

One thing that really amazed me at the first Experience was finding out how many people follow the threads. It was very gratifying :)

defiance

07-08-2009, 07:56 AM

great thinking...i can only imagine how much fun this is for you, being that it is soo much fun just to follow the chain of events!

ianj5150

07-08-2009, 10:16 AM

I'm going to see if I can squeeze a few last drops of juice out of this particular lemon.

Simon sends:

Greg,

I have to tell you that I am really not happy about this situation at all! To be frank, the money is a drop in the ocean to me and I could care less about losing it, but I WANT THAT GUITAR!!!! If the people in your damned house steal the cash and you're having problems with them, then why should I suffer because you rent your house to any deadbeat that drifts by with a sob story? I am careful only to deal with people that I can trust 110% and you would do well to take a leaf out of my book in this respect.

As soon as you receive this mail I suggest that you start thinking about sending me that guitar because as for as I'm concerned, I've paid for it and it's mine.

You have my address. I look forward to your confirmation that it is packed and posted.

Sincerely,

Simon Simpell

George Johnson

07-08-2009, 10:25 AM

^^ Perfect.

jrw32

07-08-2009, 12:37 PM

you would do well to take a leaf out of my book in this respect.

LOL! :D

ianj5150

07-08-2009, 02:53 PM

The muppet has replied!

Simon,

You agree to use MoneyGram service was agreed and you do something totally wrong without telling me. Is not my problem is yours. You say you have plenty money, then pay me and I send guitar and that is last word on matter.

Greg

And he's still online....

RayRay

07-08-2009, 03:01 PM

How hard can it be? And if you try to **** me over, don't think that you'll get away with it because I have your address you idiot.

[/I]

This line made me HOWL!!! Seriously. If you write a book, this needs to be an excerpt! I love it. Genius.

ianj5150

07-08-2009, 03:27 PM

Interview with the Scammer Part 4:

Simon: Greg are you there? Have you sent the guitar?

Greg: I am here. No, I told you I can not send guitar without payment via moneygram.

Simon: The money has been received in Lafayette. YOUR tenants in YOUR house have YOUR money and that is YOUR problem my friend. YOU have my GUITAR and I want it. I'm not paying you another penny. Why can't you get your head around that fact? Have you got **** and duck feathers for brains?

Greg: So you not pay me properly???? You want guitar or not? I don't understand you.

Simon: I can only stand in awe at how much you don't understand, pal!

Greg: OK. You think you so smart and evryone you deal with 110% trustworthy? That is right yes?

Simon: Oh, you can read? Yes that what I said. Full marks, I'm impressed.

Greg: Well read emails that you 'girlfriend' send me!!!!

There is a long pause. Simon receives two forwarded emails that Carmen sent to him. They are the ones where she was offering to help Greg steal a lot of Simon's money etc etc.

I am using my MacBook, but while this has been going on, I have been firing up my work laptop. I have just used the laptop to log into yahoo mail chat as Carmen. I just had a really evil idea. He's sailing into a perfect storm :cool:

Xarkon

07-08-2009, 03:45 PM

I am using my MacBook, but while this has been going on, I have been firing up my work laptop. I have just used the laptop to log into yahoo mail chat as Carmen. I just had a really evil idea. He's sailing into a perfect storm :cool:

ROCK >> Greg the Scammer << HARD PLACE

I can't wait!

Dave

ianj5150

07-08-2009, 04:37 PM

Simon: Well, that is quite interesting.

Greg: YOu see? She want to steal from you and asked for my help! I say 'no'. Who is most 'trustworthy'? Me or her? I just want to sell my guitar.

Greg: Like I said, I need the money already.

< I deliberately pause. Make the bastid sweat >

Greg: Are you still there? Will you pay for guitar now?

Simon: I'm a little shocked to say the least. Give me a moment, will you?

Greg: OK take your time.

I bring Carmen online.

Carmen to Greg: Hi

< Greg doesn't reply. Several minutes pass >

Simon to Greg: Greg, are you still there?

Greg to Simon: Yes

Simon to Greg: The little ****ing ***** whore is online. She just tried chatting to me.

Greg to Simon: She message me also. I ignore her

Simon to Greg: I am in tears. I really am <but not for the reason he thinks :D >

Simon to Greg: I can clearly see now who has been trustworthy and who has not. And I was a fool for not using Moneygram as we agreed, so the fact that the goons that are squatting in your house have hit paydirt at my expense is my own stupid fault. I'm sorry.

Greg to Simon: is OK. You pay for guitar now?

< I insert a dramatic pause of a minute or two, just to ratchet him up another notch...>

Simon to Greg: Okay. But there is one thing that I need you to explain to me about Carmen and myself.

Simon to Greg: You know that she is London at the moment while I am in North Carolina?

< Slight pause >

Greg to Simon: And?

< At this point I am typing the same words into Simon's and Carmen's chat windows and hitting 'return' one after the other in quick succession >

Simon to Greg: Can you explain why it is that when I type something into chat in North Carolina...
Carmen to Greg: Can you explain why it is that when I type something into chat in North Carolina...

Simon to Greg: Carmen types EXACTLY the same thing into her chat in London?
Carmen to Greg: Carmen types EXACTLY the same thing into her chat in London?

Simon to Greg: How do you think that could be possible? Telepathy?
Carmen to Greg: How do you think that could be possible? Telepathy?

< A few minutes pass>

Simon to Greg: Greg?

Greg to Simon: I don't understand

Simon to Greg: As I said, there's a lot that you don't understand. I shall explain slowly for the hard of thinking...

Simon to Greg: Simon Simpell and Carmen Gethitt are the same person. And neither are called Simon or Carmen. My real name is no business of yours, but you can think of me as Nemesis. Or at least your personal Nemesis.

Simon to Greg: You are a scammer, a lower-than whale sh!t thief, a parasite. I've known it right from the start. And to make this even better for you, I have been posting our conversations on a website. Hundreds of people all over the world have been laughing at you. You have achieved something with your life at last, Greg: you have become a global laughing stock. And don't bother looking for the website, I doubt that you could find your own asshole with GPS.

About ten minutes have passed while I've been posting this up and formatting it. In that time Greg has logged out. And I was so hoping for some 'customer feedback'. Some people are so ungrateful :rolleyes:

Peter C

07-08-2009, 05:05 PM

*stands up* BRAVO!!!

jrw32

07-08-2009, 05:08 PM

BEAUTIFUL ending, well played my friend, LOL!

MCSS1970

07-08-2009, 05:13 PM

And don't bother looking for the website, I doubt that you could find your own asshole with GPS.

Nice touch. ;)

Well played indeed. :)

George Johnson

07-08-2009, 05:38 PM

Hats off to you, Ian. :cool:

Gilky

07-08-2009, 05:47 PM

I (Mr. Simon Simpell) have sent a packaga via FedEx to our dear friend Mr. Greg Johns of LaFayette, Indiana.

Tracking # 6674 0041 0039 581

:cool:

A funny thing happened today.

I got a phone call from my shipper today. Greg Johns of LaFayette, Indiana called my shipper and asked why the hell he received an empty FedEx envelope today from them.

I swear.

ianj5150

07-08-2009, 05:54 PM

A funny thing happened today.

I got a phone call from my shipper today. Greg Johns of LaFayette, Indiana called my shipper and asked why the hell he received an empty FedEx envelope today from them.

I swear.
I think that if he gave a name other than the recipient's, the call centre wouldn't have even spoken to him. There's some random guy in LaFayette who's very confused tonight, I expect :o

Gilky

07-08-2009, 05:57 PM

Great job by the way, Ian. Amazing how this is the first thread I come to as soon as I get on the computer hehe...

gag halfrunt

07-08-2009, 06:22 PM

Hats off to you, Ian.

:):D:dude:;)

guitarman608

07-08-2009, 06:36 PM

best one yet!!
not to take anything away from your others
but this was my fave!!!
hope to see you in september!!
people will be lining up to meet you after this one dude, me included
Rob

ianj5150

07-08-2009, 06:49 PM

Guys,

I've been waiting up for a 'customer feedback' email (I collect them recreationally) but I doubt that it will be forthcoming.

Huge thanks to everyone who contributed to this, especially Gilky the mailman :dude: and Ellasdad who started it all. He has only posted twice, both times on this thread. I have emailed him, asked him to join us on a more regular basis. It was great of him to spot the scam and give us the heads-up; that kind of random community spirit makes this world a better place imho.

Thanks everyone, for following these threads. Your support and encouragement are what have kept me going these past two and half years. My best regards to all of you. You are the best.

Ian.