Thursday Sept. 22nd

[Big Mike]

Well, since no one signed up....

First, I had KFC (yeck) on the way back to work from a funeral.

My dear friend's Grandfather, whom had always treated me wonderfully, and was the sweetest person passed. He'd been sick for awhile. It amazed me looking at all this family, that had treated me like a member as my father passed when I was young, so I was "The other Nephew/son/cousin/grandson" to them all as I had been apart of every function, anyway, I was touched by how all these people had taken me into their lives, and considered me one of their own.

That means a lot to me. Much of my family didn't / doesn't speak to us because of arguments with my dearly departed grandmother, and many have just passed. Never had tons of aunts and uncles and cousins etc.

This is my surrogate family. They mean as much if not MORE to me than many members of my "True" family because they CHOSE to make me a part of it.

That means a lot to me today, as we watched the head of the family laid to rest.

Sorry, not to be on a downer, I'm relieved he's no longer suffering.

So my question, how many of you have friendships, and ties like this? Surrogate families? My friend Dave's Mom is my other Mom, his Dad was my Dad when I needed, and I'm touched to be included in such a family.

Do any of you have similar experiences?

[drjenkins]

Bologna Sandwich & Doritos (food of the Gods!!) :D

My sincere condolences Mike. Off to better and kinder places.

Ive been through an extremely similar situation. One of my oldest friends and I have been hanging out for right at 15 years now. His Mom was just one of my biggest fans. Not for anything I did, other than just being myself. She truly just loved me to the core of her being. His sister and niece are exactly the same too.

Now I have a wonderful immediate family. My parents are both still alive and happily married after 32 years together. And at the ages they were married, thats a miracle unto itself. My dad was 20 and my Mom was 17. But two kids, and 32 years later, they still love each other as much or more than when they were first married. So Ive been ridiculously lucky in my home life, and dont take it for granted one bit.

With Brian's family though, it was different, the same in alot of ways, but different still. Pam just lit up when I came around with Brian. I was her 3rd son. When she said "her boys" I was included in that. Just a very loving woman that enjoyed our company anytime she could.

I helped take care of his niece since her Dad wasnt around. Anything from rocking her to sleep ( mind you, it was because I work her up to play :)) to making her hot dogs, I was around. I think that was part of Pam's affection for me. Big tough long haired metal guy in a leather jacket playing Barbie with a 4 year old. Id always look up at Pam and she'd have one of those ear to ear grins going on.

She started having heart problems due to her weight and the fact that she smoked for years. For about a year she fought back all the health issues and seemed fine. One day I get a phone call telling me that she was in line at the insurance office, collapsed, and passed away from a heart attack.

One of the hardest things I have ever had to do in my life was carry her caket to the gravesite. She was the exact same age as my Mom, and was my second Mom. It hurt to know I wouldnt see her smile or hear her voice, but I knew she was far better off. But to this day I carry around that feeling she gave me every time I saw her. Just unadulterated, unconditional love. And I am a much better person from being touched by that.

So stay strong my large friend, and know that Ill be praying for you. And if you need to talk, Im right here for ya.

Dave ( your internet brother :D)

[Big Mike]

Thanks Dave! I'm actually very at peace with it.

But My second Ma, Linda, does the same thing. I'm the other Son! Her boys also means me.

Nothing like being a part of a family by choice. Forcibly Adopted they call it! :D

[drjenkins]

Thanks Dave! I'm actually very at peace with it.

But My second Ma, Linda, does the same thing. I'm the other Son! Her boys also means me.

Nothing like being a part of a family by choice. Forcibly Adopted they call it! :D Good deal man. Nothing like being forcibly adopted :dude:

[Donk70]

Curry beef and iced tea.

Growing up, there was a tight knit group of 6 of us that ran around together. We never called each others parent's by their 1st name, it was always either mom or dad. We ate together, stayed at each others houses, went cruising together, chased girls together, and got terrible grades together as well. 5 years ago I was in line at a grocery store and I heard "Well, there's Mr. Mason". I turn around and looked and seen one of my old friends mother, whom I haven't seen for a good 8 or so years. I went over to hug her and said "Hi Nedra" and she gave me a look of hurt. "You always called me Mom before". Feeling like a heel, all I could say was "how's it going Mom?".

[Aldwyn]

Hot dog with bar-b-que sauce.


First, I am sorry for your loss, Mike. :-(

I never had a surrogate family. My family always seemed to be the surrogate family for everyone else.

My mom ended up being "mom" to more then just my sister and I when I was growing up. She took under her wing a lot of kids who's parents were to busy with this or that, or because of a divorce.

When my mom passed away in Feb, some old friends from high school flew down to Florida for her funeral for this very reason.

Peace,
Aldwyn

[Big Mike]

Good stuff guys. Glad to know there's more of that around.

I'm with ya Don, if I slip and say Linda, I get hit in the back of the head.

[irwcustom]

Sorry to hear that Mike. I bet though you can celebrate the great life he had and what he did for you, that's a really nice thing to hear of - you being taken under his wing. I find these days that I have come to accept the inevitable a lot easier than when my granfather died who was for me the best person, mentor and relative I could ever have hoped for.

He always used to have these funny 'sayings' like kiss me quick - me nose is running! and one he used to say was it's not the coffin your coughing ..it's the coffin they carry you off in. When he passed away and they carried the coffin to the grave, I could clearly hear him say this - I was very close to breaking at that point, but upon 'hearing' him say that, I took comfort in it and it was almost like he patted me on the head and said - don't worry, you'll be ok - i may be gone from this place, but I'll still be with you.

In answer to your Q though, I have a second 'family' in Maryland, though they have split up somewhat. That's really nice to have. I'm closer to them than a lot of my blood family. Got really close to another neighbour here - like an extended family, but it all went sour I'm afraid. Still close to the mum and her son though. I'm very lucky to have a good family for support though which would make emigrating really difficult, but maybe necessary in the future.